Hot Singles in Your Area
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'Hot Singles in Your Area is a long joke, an experimental novel, and a conversation starter' Locus Magazine
'Shiveley writes like a ghoul living in the haunted house that is the internet' Meg Elison, author of 'The Road to Nowhere' trilogy
A biting, post-modern horror about day jobs and monsters - one of which will devour you whole, but perhaps not the one that you think.
Noah desperately needs a new job that involves less blood and piss than his current one. So, when he spots an ad for a newspaper with 'No experience preferred', he puts on his good shirt and marches down to their average-looking office to unknowingly sign his life away.
Malachia is the only human left in the City of Silence and she spends her time wandering its empty, bone-filled streets. Until one day she finds a lone figure hunched over a typewriter, his fingers enmeshed with the keys. Could he be the answer to finding her missing girlfriend?
Propelled by their pursuits for rent money and truth, Noah and Malachia are pushed to their limits by a sinister media powerhouse. Will either of them survive the darkness that ensues?
Everyone's talking about Hot Singles in Your Area. . .
'Came for the body horror, stayed for the detailed world-building and pinpoint satire' - Reader review
'If The Hitchhiker's Guide and The Ministry of Time had a horrific baby with multiple rows of teeth' - Reader review
'One of the most enjoyable reading experiences I've had this year. It's unlike anything I've read before' - Reader review
About this Author
Jordan Shiveley is the author of the Dread Singles X account. Their work has been seen in a variety of short fiction venues such as The Best Horror of the Year Vol. 15 Nightmare Magazine, Voidjunk, Baffling (Neon Hemlock), and tabletop roleplaying games. They live and work in Minneapolis, Minnesota.
Reviews
"This horror comedy shows what H. P. Lovecraft would write if he were forced to work as a temp in a modern office. (...) Shiveley blends eldritch horrors with workplace comedy." -- Booklist
"Light and energetic, with plenty of sharp humor and clever jabs at both corporate culture and popular horror tropes." -- Publishers Weekly
"Strangely funny and dancing to the strange sound of its own drum, this novel has one foot in body horror and one foot in something akin to bizarro fiction (...) Hot Singles in Your Area is a long joke, an experimental novel, and a conversation starter." -- Locus Magazine
"Shiveley writes like a ghoul living in the haunted house that is the internet." -- Meg Elison, author of the Road to Nowhere trilogy
"Jordan Shiveley's hot singles are lonely, and hungry, and they're waiting for you. Are they down the street--or next door--or behind that strange new door in the basement? Or are they already inside you? Shiveley brings his dark biting wit and his air for cosmic horror from the digital realm to the printed page, and the results will leave you laughing, shuddering and looking over your shoulder. Discover a whole new reason to stay up all night: Check out Hot Singles in Your Area!" -- David Demchuk, award-winning author of The Bone Mother
"Devastating in its bottom-of-the-grave black humor, Hot Singles in Your Area reminds readers that life is precious, eeting and has already been prom- ised to the Void." -- Jen Vaughn, author of Goosebumps: Download and Die!
"Of all the things that could escape a closet full of hungry teeth, Jordan's writing is the sharpest and leaves the deepest marks." -- John Wiswell, Tank
"The longer I kept reading, the louder and wetter the knocking outside the bedroom door became. If I stop reading I think they'll come in. I can never stop reading. I don't want to stop reading." -- Marie Enger, Casket Land
"Jordan's writing is the equivalent of nally piecing together the long dead his- tory of the forgotten civilization and discovering the antiquated knowledge that brings ruin to our world but in a good way!" -- Derek Revis
"It is rare that a work feels as comfortable as a warm towel straight out of the dryer and as disorienting as unseen nails dragged across the back of your neck" -- Steven Dunne, author of Seed of Doubt
"I cannot physically put this book down." -- Joshua Mendenhall, Co-Director of Islands of Sina Una
"Full of sharp and, at times, terrifying wit, Hot Singles in Your Area crosses traditional novelistic storytelling with a kind of mixed media madness that will periodically have you questioning your sanity. From humdrum workplaces to horrors beyond this world, Hot Singles in Your Area isn't just a book. It's an experience." -- Richard Kadrey, author of the 'Sandman Slim' series
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