Percy Jackson and the Olympians, Book One

Dear Mortal Reader:
There is no such twelve-year-old boy as Perseus "Percy" Jackson. The Greek gods are nothing more than old myths. They certainly never have children with mortals in the 21st century, nor is there any such place as Half Blood Hill, a summer camp for demigods on eastern Long Island. Percy never met a satyr or a daughter of Athena. They most emphatically did not take a quest together across the United States to reach the gates of the Underworld and prevent a catastrophic war between the gods.

Having said this, I must warn you to think carefully before starting this book. If you feel anything stirring within you as you read — if you begin to suspect that this story may be describing something about your own life — Stop Reading Immediately. I cannot be held responsible for the consequences. May the gods of Olympus (who of course do not exist) watch over you.

Senior Scribe, Half Blood Hill Honorary Member, Council of Cloven Elders Cupbearer, Court of Poseidon etc., etc.